I finally saw Ant-Man. And yes, there are some fun parts, and I definitely enjoyed portions of the movie. But it’s also a movie riddled with…well, if not plot holes, at least tenuously connected bits. Perhaps chief among my complaints, the characters always seemed to be more accepting of what was going on than I was. Where was our audience proxy?!?

So here are four questions Scott Lang (Paul Rudd) failed to ask Hank Pym (Michael Douglass).

  1. 1) Scott: “Why don’t you wear the suit?”
    Hank: “I Can’t Wear The Suit.”
    Scott: “Ok. Why doesn’t Hope wear the suit?”
    Hank: “She Can’t Wear The Suit.”
    Scott: “Right, but why? What is it you aren’t telling me?”
  2. “Wait, your wife’s suit had fully functional wings? Can I get in on that? And why didn’t you!?!?”
  3. “So you bribed my friend’s acquaintance’s buddy’s girlfriend to tell them about the safe in your house in the hope that information would find its way to me? Isn’t that pretty reckless? Especially from a guy who’s been so intent on keeping his research secret?”
  4. “So you didn’t want to trust the Avengers because of the Stark connection, the general destruction that follows in their wake, their bad history with powerful technology. Ok. That’s fine. And I’m honored, but why did you immediately trust me before you ever got to know me?”

Yeah, especially the first two.

Anyways.

And now an obligatory ranking of the MCU movies to date. I like to arrange them in tiers.

Tier 1

1) The Avengers

2) Avengers: Age of Ultron

3) Captain America: The Winter Soldier

I haven’t yet re-watched either Ultron or Winter Soldier, but I’m pretty sure it’s about a wash between the two. Avengers gets the top spot for novelty as well as quality, but the gap is not large.

Tier 2

4) Iron Man

5) Thor: The Dark World

I liked The Dark World much better than most, I think, although I haven’t re-watched it either since I saw it in theaters.

Tier 3

6) Guardians of the Galaxy

7) Iron Man 2

This is where the list flips from thumbs up to thumbs down for me. Good things in both of these movies, but just a few more negatives than positives in both.

Tier 4

8) Iron Man 3

9) Ant-Man

10) Thor

11) Captain America

And these are the ones I don’t really like. Too many weak characters, too many plot holes. I really applaud Ant-Man for trying to build a more personally-scaled superhero film, but then it does such a bad job of character development that I can’t give it much actual credit.

As always, please feel free to disagree in the comments, but please do so civilly.

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